My trust is all over the place. Sometimes we all yearn to trust others completely and other days, we want to disclose the minimum and be left alone. Today was both.
I met up with a GOOD GOOD GOOD friend for breakfast before work and it was a blast. We pick back up and laugh together, but we have been through the wringer as well. She knows I would and will have her back no matter what and vice versa. That trust was earned and is well kept between the two of us. And then I went to work at my current retail job (non-medical) with a mix of teenagers, barely older than teenagers, and a senior coworker. Sundays are like that, and are always exhausting. This is my weekly reminder that they are my coworkers, not friends. I somehow manage to trudge through and get home to my family and realize why I love it here. I’m currently very relaxed in the office with a glass of ice water and thoroughly content.
Do you feel drained from the amount of barriers you have to put up when you are around people because they have proven they are untrustworthy? My fear is that some people do not know what it feels like to completely relax and be at ease around certain people, our mental and emotional safe place or HOME, as Mom and I call it. We have two places where we like to feel safe. One is our physical address. The other is with friends and family who we have a deep connection with that we love and from whom we receive love. A thought that just occurred to me is my spiritual home from our higher power. All of these have the potential to energize and empower us to continue with our responsibilities.
I value and miss my Home when I have not visited it/them in a while. Today was a good day, despite the struggles. It took writing this to realize this, so I thank you for listening to my rants.
Hugs!